Moments after this column appeared last Thursday, the mould house hit the market.
You remember. The abandoned Old Town century-old cottage resplendent in so much gooey black stuff that the pre-listing cleaners demanded hazmat suits.
It was (like me) cute yet mildly toxic. But also priced to invoke property lust.
The next day, there was a slew of showings. By Friday night the listing agent reported five signed offers on an as-is, no-inspection, don’t-even-ask, best-price basis.
Three went back for sweetening, and the place sold over the $1.4 million asking price. In fact, $200,000 more.
Sorry, kids. Odds are this sweet structure will soon be excavator food, with a monster house rising in its stead.
The days of snagging a fixer-upper at a reasonable price (what a world when $1.4 million seems cheap …) have apparently ended. Off you go to St. Catharines.
Well, a key point was that this house sat empty for years, growing fungus. As mentioned last week, at least 800 vacant places are currently for sale in the region — a record.
We don’t lack properties to choose from. We just don’t have many people can afford.
Mike Kostecki tells me he’s aware.
“We have lived in NOTL and built my house on York Road in 1975,” he says. “You are right on about availability and vacant houses.”
“Yesterday before reading your article I counted three houses on York Road from my house to St. Davids that were totally vacant and many houses up for sale.”
Our weird real estate market, the battle between heritage and development and the endless flow of Americans through our streets have been themes of this column.
Now, mortgage rates are going down (good) but we face the ascendency of Trump (maybe bad) and the build-baby-build fetish of local and Ontario politicians (so long mould cottage).
It’s worth remembering why people always wanted to come to this place. Now more than ever.
Lin Slee wears one of those blue “ambassador” vests in town, spending time with the folks from across the river.
“Most of our visitors are from the U.S.A.,” she confirms, echoing NOTL Chamber of Commerce stats.
“They have shared many times lately that they are here to destress. From the violent weather. From mass shootings. But mainly because of the politics.”
Amen. The next steamy edition of the Lake Report will be published five days before the presidential election. It’s all about Trump.
If he wins, economists predict chaos may ensue (tariffs, trade wars, inflation, deportations).
If he loses, he may not concede. More chaos.
Will we see American refugees?
“I was walking my dog past the white B&B near Greaves,” Lin adds.
“My dog stopped to look at guests eating breakfast. Dogs sure invite conversations. A couple from Cleveland are seriously thinking of relocating to NOTL for a quieter and safer retirement next year.”
“I listen, welcome people and often steer them to the river to relax. We are so fortunate living here.”
Indeed. If you can afford it. And if we don’t screw it up.
Three million people come here yearly to traipse down Queen Street, soak in the leafy Leave-it-to-Beaver ‘hoods and relish the history. Yes, special.
But, there are risks — like replacing the old, quaint and attainable digs with faux-vintage Mississauga McMansions.
Being wealthy and a moron aren’t mutually exclusive.
And then, as a reckless reader points out, there’s the danger of surly columnists.
“Your photograph is a slightly cynical, cautionary warning of ‘don’t mess with me’ expression with the slightest touch of contempt,” she writes. “Garth, that’s not necessary in NOTL. There is no need, and does you no service.”
Little does she know. That’s my happy face.
Garth Turner is a NOTL resident, journalist, author, wealth manager and former federal MP and minister.
