I want to demolish my house and build an abattoir on my lot.

I am sure that there is a study somewhere showing there is not enough fresh meat being processed in Niagara-on-the-Lake.

I will need a few minor variances for setbacks, lot coverage and building height but they seem startling easy to obtain these days.

A zoning change will be necessary, but our zoning bylaws have proven to be very elastic when stretched by political will.

My neighbours will have to live with the smells and the noise and with the many cattle and hog trucks coming and going at all hours, but they will surely understand that a five-star slaughterhouse is a plus for the local economy.

Their peace and enjoyment, as well as their property values, will have to be sacrificed for such a good cause.

Just think of the employment opportunities. There must be countless locals who are looking for a career in minimum-wage meat packing.

The message we are getting from five members of council is loud and clear: Niagara-on-the-Lake is for sale to the highest bidder and everything is possible.

Given the precedent that has already been set, I look forward to a rapid approval of my plans.