Published in The Lake Report, May 7, 2026, page 26.
Phebe Grauer Appleton, 91, died peacefully in her home in Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada, April 14, 2026.
Phebe was born Oct. 20, 1934, in Buffalo, N.Y., daughter of Harriet Richmond Grauer and Otto Christopher Ulbrich Grauer. She was raised in the Buffalo area with her sister Crista Margaret Grauer and summered in their family home in Niagara-on-the-Lake.
Her greatest passions were gardening, entertaining, singing and playing tennis. As a child she attended Elmwood Franklin Elementary School, The Park School of Buffalo, and later, she boarded at the Masters School in Dobbs Ferry, N.Y. She was a debutante in 1953 in Buffalo.
She attended Skidmore College as an English major and where she discovered her lovely voice. After college, she taught at Shady Hill School in Cambridge, Mass.
In 1958, Phebe studied voice in Florence, Italy. She returned to the United States and taught elementary education in the Buffalo School System.
In 1961, she married George Miller Appleton and they moved to Eden, N.Y. where she raised her three children. She continued to work as an elementary education teacher and later received her master’s degree in special education at SUNY at Geneseo. Phebe sang with the Schola Cantorum and the Buffalo Philharmonic for many years and was a member of the Garret Club in Buffalo.
In 1995, she remarried to Elijah (Nick) Carter, an Australian/Canadian lawyer. She became a dual citizen of the U.S. and Canada and took permanent residence in Niagara-on-the-Lake. She enjoyed travelling and gardening with her husband as well as their “Sunday Mystery Rides.” She became an active member of St. Mark’s Church, The Niagara Conservancy and the Evergreen Chorus.
Phebe possessed a nurturing soul. She is remembered for her warmth, optimism, love of laughter, great knowledge of the NOTL town history, and everlasting adoration for her dogs. She was quick with a clever limerick when needed, known for masterful cooking, and a fervent dog walker.
She is survived by her daughter, Crista Marrington, son, Benjamin Appleton and wife Carol, daughter Catherine Appleton and husband, Kris Conner, six grandchildren, two great-grandchildren and sister, Crista Margaret Grauer.
A memorial service will be held on June 13, 2026, at 11 a.m. at St. Mark’s Church, Niagara-on-the-Lake, followed by a reception. Those who wish to honour Phebe may send donations to St. Mark’s Church or Willowbank School of Restoration Arts.
