Two weeks ago, Edite Sammons had to say an unexpected goodbye to a member of her family — Murphy, her golden retriever, who died on March 12. He was eight years old.
Last night, however, she was able to take the time to grieve her loss at the Niagara-on-the-Lake Community Palliative Care’s program for people dealing with the loss of a pet.
“This is so fresh,” she said to the group. “It aches. Just aches.”
The get-together on March 19, run by volunteer Laura Fakla, gave her the chance to get some much-needed bereavement support and create an art piece to honour Murphy.
“You have no idea how therapeutic this is,” she told the group.
Sammons was the sole attendee of last night’s program, which the palliative care group has held a few times before. This was Fakla’s first time running it.
The pet loss program is there to help grieving pet owners whose animal friends have passed — often, they’re left with a deep sense of loss and emptiness, Fakla said.
“You realize that this little life depends on you,” she said. “You make sure he’s warm in his bed, he has water, he’s feeling happy.”
“There’s just such a significant role they play in our lives, and when they’re gone, your house is different, the way you spend your time is different.”
Murphy, whose ninth birthday would have been next month, had some heart conditions and has been on medication for the last three years. Regardless, he was thriving.
After a beautiful day at the park, running free, chasing squirrels and meeting other dogs, Murphy came home, had a bath, chased his tail in the living room and laid down to rest, before peacefully passing away at home.
“He was a happy dog,” said volunteer Gail Rizzuto, who knew Murphy.
Sammons is a French teacher and has written three French children’s books, which Murphy stars in. The illustrations are done by the publisher, AIM Language Learning, she said.
Murphy’s not the only familiar character in the books. Coun. Adriana Vizzari is Sammons’ neighbour and was the one who told her about the pet loss group — Vizzari’s four children are the kids who star in the book, with French versions of their names.
Sammons is in the middle of writing her fourth book, but until more time passes, she said she’s too emotional to finish writing it right now.
People grieve in different ways, she said.
She finds comfort in confiding in others and likes to look at photos of her dog. But her husband, Richard, could not bring himself to do the same.
“I asked him to come. He can’t right now,” she said. “It’s just too painful for him.”
Richard spent weeks at a time with Murphy while Sammons travelled for work.
“They’re buddies,” she said.
Sammons is still hopeful, though, that one day, Richard might join her when she returns to one of these meetings in the future.
And if he doesn’t come around, Fakla said there are other options available through the NOTL Community Palliative care, such as book recommendations, which Sammons is bringing home to him — and phone support as well.
Fakla gave Sammons contact information for the organization’s executive director, Bonnie Bagnulo, so Richard could reach out to her and arrange for someone to call him.
“Because it’s that validating: That it’s okay to really feel sad,” that makes the difference, said Fakla.
Volunteer D. Trivett says the problem with losing a pet is that, for many people, it’s seen as “just a dog” or “just a cat” and they tell you to “get on with your life.”
“So you really have to be with like-minded and pet-loving people to just let go of the grief that you feel and those thoughts, which is so significant,” said Trivett.
Fakla said she plans to run the program as frequently as the town provides a space for it.
“As many times as they’ll let me,” she said.
Fakla wonders if Sammons might someday write a book about Murphy’s passing to help children navigate the journey of life and loss.
“I have thought about that,” said Sammons.
To register for one of the next pet loss programs, which are June 25, Sept. 10 and Dec. 3, all from 6 to 8 p.m., you can email notlpc@bellnet.ca.
