Tiger Woods has carded 20 holes-in-one. There have only been 34 in Masters history. President Joe Biden has had 14, and with a straight face, Donald Trump claims 16 — many while wearing a red MAGA golf cap.

As we checked in last Friday for nine holes on a perfect weather day, NOTL assistant professional Darren Smith had assured me that my Australian cobber Paul Dorgan, out from the Toronto Hunt for the day, was going to love playing with “two of the finest members in the NOTL club.”

Trevor Reid, who does so many good things for the local golf club members, confirmed that Darren was correct, that Gert and Reg Kennedy had the perfect attitude for the game of golf.

The Kennedys have been around the game for a long time, and had come to terms with the fact that luck plays a large part. Both fit and very nattily attired, they made it clear that fun was going to be the order of the day.

Quickly becoming friends, we got down to the serious business of having fun on the links. And wow — the first hole is so much more dramatic now, with open views of Lake Ontario: the largest water hazard in Ontario.

Making first tee small talk before playing nine on North America’s oldest golf course, we humbly calculated that the four of us had achieved an awesome combined total of 17 holes-in-one.

Two for Gert Kennedy — same as me — and Dorgan claimed one. Yes, folks, do the math. Reg Kennedy has had an astounding 12. A dozen!

They have played golf in Ireland, Canada and other countries for many years, and are still trying to “shoot their ages.”

Both were 84, but looked younger and laughed so easily. This was indeed a great day of golf, with new friends.

Added up, we have been on earth for 316 years. And only 17 aces!?

All four of us played some fine shots on hole number one, and we also duffed a few — no harm done. Number two was kinder to us, and Gert and Dorgan made pars.

While on the long third fairway, I realized one reason I love living in this small town between two Great Lakes.

Three tradesmen vehicles drove by on Queen Street, and I knew all three of the lads: Ray Hobbs from Hot Tub hockey; Danny Plomish, who has cooled and heated the air around me for years; and, Tim Jones, a Chautauqua neighbour, and an all around great pal. A proud, positive and long time resident on the Circle.

The next few holes brought the four of us closer together, with Gert’s full and hearty laugh a true joy. Reg plays a quietly efficient game of golf and hit every fairway. Right down the middle, never in trouble and tidy around the greens.

Dorgan and I were, to be kind, inconsistent, but we both had pars on number six. The views of Lake Ontario were so darn magnificent, with the Toronto skyline off to the north.

Gert holed a 25-foot putt to make bogey on her favourite hole, number seven.

We finished up our nine holes, still loving the company, and went in for a drink.

While quaffing cold Guinness and Oast House Barnraiser, Dorgan felt compelled to share a few lessons he had learned from his Mother back in the antipodes:

1. Always wear linen in the tropics;

2. Write on Basilbond paper;

3. Never get married;

4. Eat your vegetables;

5. and, never do your ironing in the nude.

So there you have it, dear readers. Some weeks it’s hard to come up with a topic for Ross’s Ramblings.

This week it was easy.

Rambling about wonderful new friends and a great old friend who hired me 42 years ago has been a pleasure. Our local golf club is a gem. Short, but you still have to play from 100 yards in.

More fabulous memories, and I am certain I heard Dorgan invite the Kennedys and I to play nine at his Toronto Hunt Club, directly across the lake.

I’m available that day. Road trip, Road trip. Golf is such a wonderful game.