The three candidates for lord mayor participated in a meet and greet at the Royal Canadian Legion Branch 124 on Sept. 27.
Candidate Vaughn Goettler spoke of working for solutions to bring a Michelin star restaurant or a Relais & Châteaux hotel to town to attract the “right kind of tourism” (ie. not so subtly implying the top 1 per cent, with deep, deep pockets).
Part of the new tourism marketing strategy needs to address how to manage controlling entry to town and ensure only the “right kind of tourists” actually get into Niagara-on-the-Lake. Well, here is one solution.
Let’s repurpose the ArriveCAN App. Set up control kiosks at all entry points into town where potential entrants must scan the new ArriveNOTL app. Those with sufficient net worth and income will be granted entry.
Those undesirables not meeting the net worth/income thresholds will instead be redirected toward other destinations that are accepting of others regardless of economic status.
This simple measure will help ensure the appropriate spend per entrant ratio is met while also lightening the traffic and parking problems that have been unsolvable for so long.
Not to mention the savings from a reduced need for bylaw enforcement officers and regional police support. After all, those wonderful “right kind of tourists” don’t break laws.
Lower-cost services/businesses will eventually be replaced by higher end “right kind” of business operators.
Maybe a Hell’s Kitchen/Master Chef pop-up will replace the Dairy Queen. Or an offsite boutique store for Stoney Ridge/Two Sisters?
As far as a workforce, perhaps Elon Musk will have created synthetic humans or robots. When they are off duty they could be stacked in an underground bunker, so they won’t require affordable housing.
And since they won’t have children, the town won’t require schools or family-affordable services.
As the seniors and lower-income locals leave town, the ArriveNOTL app can also be used to screen prospective new homeowners to ensure the “right kind of buyers” purchase homes here.
The possibilities are endless. The “right kind of entrepreneurs and businesses” should direct their questions and proposals to the Centre for A Utopian NOTL, or to candidate Goettler’s office.
My consulting bill will be forwarded to the town once the new council is sworn in. You are welcome.