Is it the giant chortling Bumble Yeti that looms over the Angel Inn? Or the tourist-sucking outsized lit NOTL sign in the park opposite the Prince of Wales?

When it comes to sketchy taste, it’s hard to pick the winner. They both suck. But they also mesh with what our business and political elite seem to want for the place. If you build it, they will come, they say. At least until you stop giving them a reason.

People flock here (three million of them annually) because it’s authentic. It’s ancient. Historic. Quaint in a way Mississauga and Buffalo never will be. Not cute. Not fake.

The greatest attribute Niagara-on-the-Lake has is that archaic main street and the surrounding blocks of homes. They recall a time before AI, Trump, TikTok, sweatpants and that awful music Drake makes.

Old sells. It’s why the town launched the heritage district conservation study and has a heritage tax rebate program, plus a watchdog heritage committee. As part of that study a freeze was slapped on any development in the core for a year — and soon the public consultations will start.

But wait. It’s too late.

Council may think you’re a criminal for trying to replace broken windows in a century home, but erecting a 50,000-square-foot, $80-million industrial box with a six-storey tower on its butt end smack in the middle of the Queen Streetscape, causing at least three years of construction chaos and destroying a number of heritage buildings is, well, just peachy.

The Shaw’s trophy temple was stalled by red tape for a few days. But after the lord mayor threw a hissy and stormed out of a meeting, with the festival threatening to abandon the project, his colleagues lined up.

When completed, the complex will tower over the main drag, dwarf neighbouring buildings, consume half a block, and turn a residential street into a commercial one.

As neighbour Maria Vaneva told our local leaders (in vain), “The approval process has not been adequately transparent for such a significant project in the heart of a national historic site and heritage district protected under the Ontario Heritage Act.”

And she’s right. Shaw boss Tim Jennings is bullying this giant mistake through the political process and, so far, he’s winning.

“Further delays to this project will cost the Shaw over $200,000 per month in escalation, contract and financing costs, and more in lost revenues,” he warned. “It will also mean that the Royal George will not be completed in time to open for the fall 2028 season, costing main street merchants and hoteliers millions in lost revenues.”

But Queen, our gem, will be forever altered — by a massive building with a fake Disneyesque heritage façade. The street may never recover. The conservation freeze, the zoning restrictions, the height limits, the heritage preservation — poof. Meaningless. Bring in the excavator.

But wait again. The theatrical heritage marauders are not alone.

Days ago the town removed a hold on an estate property down the same street. Now developer Rainer Hummel is free to move ahead on an 81-unit hotel (yeah, another one) that will revamp an historic home, see a modern three-storey structure built for guests and come with a seriously-big underground parking garage.

Residents squawked loudly when the project was first proposed. It’s also within the conservation zone. But, so what?

Meanwhile a few blocks away — also in the zone — workers grind away at the 219-room Parliament Oak hotel and conference centre. It’s currently the Mother of All Holes as the two-level parkade is dug.

Of course, the complex is in a residential area, townsfolk objected loudly (there was even a protest) and the developer started work without permits. But, you, know, it’s OK. Just pay your taxes and let us run the place…

By the way, politicians have just waived a nearly $1 million fee the developer was supposed to pay with regard to his big dig. “It’s a free gift,” says Norm Arsenault, of the residents’ association. “It’s got to come from somewhere and taxpayers will pay the price.”

No wonder Yeti’s laughing.

Garth Turner is a NOTL resident, journalist, author, wealth manager and former federal MP and minister. garth@garth.ca